We Didn't Start the Terror
by Lyle Brown
Summary: Ode to the lower factors of entertainment using Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire".


God. This thing took me forever to finish. All of yesterday and about half of today. This is the parody I've worked hardest on, but I think I still like _Naptser Paradise_ better. It's just a difference. Anyway, this is my ode to the lower denominator productions of our time. Horror, bad sci-fi, so-called erotic thrillers, depressingly dark video games. All the stuff I live for. Here it is, written in the form of Billy Joel's _We Didn't Start The Fire_. Also, please be aware that "Terror" is the one word I could think of that went even remotely against "Fire", so don't get on my ass for the stupid title. 

  
  
  


**We Didn't Start the Terror**   
Original Lyrics by Billy Joel   
Rewritten by Lyle Brown

Harry Stanton, _Child's Play_, Teen Werewolf, _End of Days_,   
_House Horrific_, Kurt Russell, hail Jesus' Franco,   
All-night Party, _Bloody Vixen_, Richard Baker and Slim Pickens,   
Secret Villa, Hungry Kia, more Mia Farrow,   
Deadly Birds, _Blood Bond_, _Endless Day_, Ed's Dead Mom,   
Lucio, _Butterfly_ and _The Brain That Wouldn't Die,_   
Craven's hour, _Last Scene_, Englund's cuttin' Nancy,   
George Romero, Fear the monkey, Ed Wood Jr.'s _Plan Nine_!

We didn't start the terror   
It was always learning   
What we've all been yearning,   
We didn't start the terror   
Though the screamin' night it,   
Was easy to frighten

Killer Pollen, Molotov, NASA Monster, Pumpkin Bob,   
Peter Weller, Old Godzilla, Cindy Rothrock,   
_From Beyond_,_ Dead By Dawn_, D. B. Sweeny all but gone,   
Corman's plant calls, Willis on the dock,   
Audrey Lyne, _Space Thing_, Joss Whedon, _Demon Queen,_   
_Crazy Rocket_, Cunningham, Samuel Raimi, _No Man's Land,_   
Mario Bava's best, "Oh Suzannah", _Nothing Left,_   
Leatherface, _Other Race_, Gator in the Sewers!

We didn't start the terror   
It was always learning   
What we've all been yearning,   
We didn't start the terror   
Though the screamin' night it,   
Was easy to frighten

Castle Rock, _Cataract_, Tony Randel, _Devil's Pact_,   
_Mimic_, Tobe's _Cat's Eye_, "Everyone's Gonna Die!"   
_Hellbound_, Large furry ball, Trapped in a shopping mall,   
Gale Weathers, _Genocide_, _Children of the Corn_, _Fright Night_   
Cemetery, Dead fur, _Blade_, Bunny, Carpenter,   
Gillespie, Cooper, _Creepshow_, _Evil Dead_, Dario   
Red shoe, Klaus Kinski, Dan Hedaya, _Neon City_,   
Jason/Hodder, _Psycho_, Cannibals in Rio!

We didn't start the terror   
It was always learning   
What we've all been yearning,   
We didn't start the terror   
Though the screamin' night it,   
Was easy to frighten

Olen Ray, Stienmann, "Danger Will Robinson"   
_Martin_, Nicholson, Vincent Price persuasion   
_Puppet Master_, Sciorra, _Body Snatchers_, Julia   
Bad Swiss films then, Graham beats Matheson,   
Long hall, no more X, gone are movies filled with sex   
Screamin' Jay, thrown away, Russ Meyer still gone today!

We didn't start the terror   
It was always learning   
What we've all been yearning,   
We didn't start the terror   
Though the screamin' night it,   
Was easy to frighten

_Deadly Role_, Seven sins, Peter Jackson, _Dead Again_,   
Ridley Scott, _Deadlock_, _Friday 8_, _DeathStalk_,   
Paten, Satan, R. L. Stine, _Gremlins_ and the Dead Rhine,   
Ada Wong's a traitor man, _Dead On_, _Edward Scissorhands_,   
_Death Distortion_, _Dead Alive_, _Twisted_, _DeadFall_, Pleasence Died,   
_Deadly Bets_, _Dead is Dead_, _Dead Jack_, _Dead Inn_, _Sixth Sense_,   
_Deadly Trackers_, Traci Lords, _Buried Under_, Dead cat's paw,   
Freddy Vs. Jason wars, I can't take it anymore!

We didn't start the terror,   
It was always learning,   
What we've all been yearning,   
We didn't start the terror,   
But when you are done,   
The screaming goes on, and on, and on, and on and on...   
_____________________________________________________________________________

And that's that. I'm amazingly busy right now, I've got a lot of ideas for different parodies and such, but I'm also working on a few full-length stories. One parody I know I'll finish and put up soon is a take on Janis Ian's _At Seventeen_. I'm also getting ready to put up two(!) new ad parodies to go along with the nice success of my Kodak Commercial. But until then, I have about an hour until _Whose Line_ comes on, so bug off. Your messing up my vibes, jack spinner! Take the witch (that red mink), drop the Oreos and tell that damn monkey to stop throwing it's feces at the cast of _Dawson's Creek_.Then again, let the monkey make the world a better place and just review what I've done. Then go home, your dog has a lamp that needs some serious trimming. 

Lyle Brown 


End file.
